Swiping Right on Emotional Health in Dating and Relationships with Sabrina Zohar

In this week's EA meeting we are diving into the world of dating and relationships with the internet's favorite "give it to me straight" dating expert – Sabrina Zohar!

Sabrina Zohar is a dynamic entrepreneur and dating coach renowned for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. With a clear, no-nonsense approach to relationship advice, each episode features practical tips backed by board-certified and licensed psychologists, aimed at helping listeners improve their dating lives by fostering self-worth and personal growth.

In this modern dating convo we chat about:

💞 Emotional regulation for empaths

💞 Recognizing your patterns in dating

💞 Attracting healthy partners without dropping your standards

💞 Love Island USA: examining attachment styles and toxic patterns in pop culture

Find Sabrina: 

• Website
• Instagram
• The Sabrina Zohar Show

Check out Drafted Events and maybe we'll see you in the single's section! 😉 https://draftedevents.com/
https://www.instagram.com/draftedevents/?hl=en

We hope you enjoyed a short message from a fellow Latina podcast we love! Check out Grad School Femtoring: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grad-school-femtoring-inclusive-grad-school-stories/id1483841274

Show outline:

00:00 Sick nasty? Crystina is stuck in 2003

00:10 Welcome to Empaths Anonymous

00:55 What's In Your Cup!?

02:08 Cultural Commentary on Relationships

05:40 Deep Dive into Mormon Wives

09:09 Drafted Events Shoutout and Experience

11:35 Introducing Guest Sabrina Zohar

12:20 Empath or Cop Out!?

34:23 Grieving Old Versions of Yourself and Setting Boundaries

39:36 Embracing Compassion and Self-Acceptance in Dating

43:49 Identifying Patterns in Relationships

51:45 Getting Sabrina's Love Island Hot Takes

01:03:36 Thanks for Listening!

We're excited to share a trailer for The Grad School Femtoring Podcast, hosted by Dr. Yvette Martinez-Vu. This award-winning show supports first-gen BIPOC students and professionals in navigating grad school, careers, and productivity in sustainable, values-aligned ways. Give it a listen and grab Yvette’s free Sustainable Productivity Playbook plus curated podcast playlist here: https://creative-trailblazer-5062.kit.com/29b17bb6a4

Transcript

Empaths Anonymous: [00:00:00] Sick. Nasty. sick, nasty. That bitch said. Sick. Nasty. We are in 2003. Hey, you know what? I don't know where that came from.

Intro: Welcome to Empaths Anonymous, a space for dreamers, healers, and feelers. Navigating the fine line between putting yourself first and holding space for others. If you struggle with balancing your needs while still supporting your tribe, then you're in the right place. Welcome to the support group.

Empaths Anonymous: /Hey everyone, welcome to our welcome back to Empath's Anonymous podcast. I'm Danie. And I'm Crystina. And today and, and today. Now I feel like I'm from the Midwest. The fuck, right? The fuck. And today we are so excited to talk about the thing that we always talk about in this podcast, which is dating and navigating that world.

Empaths Anonymous: But first, what is in your cup today, sister? Today in my [00:01:00] cup, you guys, I finally gave in to TikTok shop and I have it's a tangerine ginger topo Chico. Mm. But in it, I put a scoop of the, what is it called? It's that yerba mate, like mm-hmm. Brainista. I get so many ads for it, and then finally I was like, you know what?

Empaths Anonymous: I'm just gonna try it. So I did, and it is delicious. I don't know what it's actually doing for my health, but it's delicious. I will say that that's the one that had like a lot of vitamins and stuff in there too, right? Yeah. Well it has YBA Mate, which is supposed to like naturally stimulate GLP one.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. In your body. Mm-hmm. So people are like, kind of saying that it's like an ozempic alternative. Like I don't really, I mean, I've literally only been drinking this for like the past week or so, and I, I don't do it consistently. People are saying they drink it every single day. I am like, wow, that's a lot.

Empaths Anonymous: But I enjoy it. And yeah, it has some like, I think like adaptogens or like nootropics, stuff like that, you know? Okay. You know me, I'm always on the functionals, on the brain shit function. Yeah. I'm functionals. Mm-hmm. Okay, good. So that's in my cup. [00:02:00] Literally. And in my cup I'm not gonna share a whole lot 'cause I honestly go into like a recent experience and kind of like my emotions afterwards.

Empaths Anonymous: When we talk to our guest, Sabrina, but I'm just really wanting to like, uh, since we're talking about dating mm-hmm. You know, there's just so much right now that is about relationships. Obviously, like Love Island is on or coming to an end. When you guys hear this, we're not really sure at the time of recording when the.

Empaths Anonymous: Finale will actually be, they haven't said. Mm-hmm. But that's going on. I mean, obviously like Mormon wives came out a couple months ago. We're seeing a lot of like relationship topics and conversations there. Mm-hmm. And even just like in music and pop culture, like KeKe just released an album that was all about her like, journey with her relationship that has ended the, you know, with the father of her child, Cardi.

Empaths Anonymous: Released her new single talking about everything that's been happening with like offset and basically saying like, I'm done with this. Mm-hmm. Halle, you know, people like women are really like rising up. [00:03:00] And I'm gonna say this in a heterosexual context, obviously.

Empaths Anonymous: Women are really rising up and just saying like, Hey, like the way that you guys have been behaving and treating us for uh, centuries is just not working anymore in this new world order. And the matriarchy is really rising up and we're just really saying like, Hey, like we are people.

Empaths Anonymous: Treat us like humans because, you know, if we treated you the way that you treat us, you would not be happy with that. No, and you're feeling a little threatened by the fact that like, we don't really need you anymore. Like in a sense of like survival, survival, survival, right? Like we don't need you for money, we don't need you for a house, for security, all that stuff.

Empaths Anonymous: We can do that on our own. So what we're really looking , for with you is like connection. Uh, being a good partner and a good person and somebody who just fucking listens and theres us with respect. What a concept. So I really just find that interesting that right now, like a lot of these things are like kind of coming to a boiling point.

Empaths Anonymous: Oh yeah. The surface is surfacing. Absolutely. Listening to KeKe's [00:04:00] album, I mean, talk about a woman who has gagged me like my whole life. I just love her so much and I really started to. Pay closer attention to her. Several years ago when she started to be a lot more active on Snapchat.

Empaths Anonymous: And she would just go on there and like, share about her day and this is what I'm doing. Yeah. And just share more of her personality. And I think that's honestly what has gotten her so many. Of the opportunities that she's had probably within the last 10 years. Yeah. Because her, well the gag is Yeah. That literally started on Snap.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Like she was sharing those stories on Snapchat. And so I just think for her to release an album that is so authentically her and it's her side and it's the truth, and then just like, I don't know, she just has like tenacity and she just like isn't afraid to like share her full. Personality with the world, and I just love that so much.

Empaths Anonymous: And then the balls that she has, like to literally sample confessions by Usher while she's telling the story about how her baby [00:05:00] daddy is just like the most insecure man you'll probably ever hear of. Right. Like flipping the script of like what that song was originally about. Right. You know, it's like, first of all, you blew up on me for being on stage, but the gag is you broke up with me before I went.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm. And so. What's the problem, right? What's the issue here? We're not together. No. The territorialness and the possession, you know, it's just, oh, yeah. Oof. We're not, we're not taking it anymore, ladies. We're not. And, uh, yeah, I, uh, I'm excited to see what else is gonna boil up and bubble up to the surface as it relates to that.

Empaths Anonymous: Right. I mean, I finally did finish secret lives of Mormon wives. Yes. And it did end on like a big cliffhanger. Mm-hmm. So much so that I was like, let me go figure out who this guy is that they're like that. What was her name? Layla. There's McKayla and there's Layla. Oh, the guy from Vanderpump Villa.

Empaths Anonymous: The Villa, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I went to the [00:06:00] watch one episode and he's lying. So it's just like I can already tell. Just from the personality that's like exhibiting. Yeah. He's just not like, yeah. Whatever it is that happened there. I know that there's some embellishment also that occurred. Yeah. I still would love to do a deep dive on Mormon wives.

Empaths Anonymous: I know it's like as I'm watching the show, I'm, they're like, oh, we're redefining what it's like, and you know, we're showing up in this way and showing up in that way. And we're like standing in our truth and we're standing in our power. Right. I'm like. It literally sounds like you want to leave the church.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Yeah. So leave, I, I just, I guess I just didn't understand like, their point in doing all that and then still remaining in the church. Right. And in the system that is like dehumanizing them. I mean, it's, it's part of the control, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, how long did it take me, even though I knew in my heart that something wasn't feeling right.

Empaths Anonymous: About, you know, the church I was raised in, how long [00:07:00] did it take me to finally feel okay with like not going to church anymore and not participating in those communities took me a while. I was in my twenties, you know? Yeah. Even though I knew I didn't subscribe to it, probably like. Starting as a teenager.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. When like people, my youth leader was telling me that I couldn't hang out with my gay best friend. I was like, well, right? Like, that's my best friend. Like you're weird. Yeah. Jesus loves him too. So what's your point? Right. Anyway, I digress. We're we, hey, we're gonna get into one thing. It's gonna be religious trauma.

Empaths Anonymous: Okay. Yeah. For real. I would love to do act an actual deep dive on that because it's like they seem like they're on a mission to change the system and I'm like, girl, I dunno. But honestly though, like think about it for like them being in that system of control and being raised in that.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. Like what they're doing to them is revolutionary. Right. Because it's such an opressive religion. Yeah. Right. For women specifically, and there are a lot of, I won't get into all that, but there are a lot of religions that are oppressive on women, but Mormonism in particular is something that like from [00:08:00] a very young age, they're teaching women that you're less than men.

Empaths Anonymous: So to them speaking out and having a TV show and not wearing their, like whatever. The garments. The garments. The garments, and going to a nightclub, you know, like that to them is revolutionary. Yeah. We all have our own versions of it, you know? Yeah. And for where they're at right now, maybe that is their way of taking their power back.

Empaths Anonymous: And that's okay girl. Right. I saw Jesse the other day. Talk about how you know, I think that she mentioned and has on the show before, a lot of the, not everybody is still part of the church, right? So I think Jessie is one of them that are not, and so she was like, living in Utah, like obviously it's like a lot of Mormons are out here, so there's very few coffee shops and she's like, I'm looking for coffee, I need coffee, literally.

Empaths Anonymous: And I was like, girl, me as hell. I feel you. Yeah. But yeah, speaking of coffee, what I have in my cup today is. Water 'cause I'm staying hydrated. It's gonna be a hot week. Yeah. And mostly just kicking back, chilling, which is like weird for me to say. I did kind of figure out my plan [00:09:00] as far as like my bachelor's, master's situation, so that's kind of been like a weight off my shoulders 'cause it was a little bit up in the air there for a second.

 But yeah, this past weekend was really fun. We wanna shout out drafted events. Yeah. 'cause we were, I know we've talked about them on the podcast before, but we were finally able to attend an event in San Diego.

Empaths Anonymous: It was Padres verse Royals, and we won and Tatis got his mojo back. You're welcome for that. Absolutely. And it was just such a good time. Uh, we wanna. Send a special shout out and a special thank you to both Jillian and Marlene who run it and it was so, organized. Yeah, they're professional, but still so fun.

Empaths Anonymous: Like Right. You don't feel like was thought out. Yeah. You don't feel like you, like can't talk to them just because they like put the event together. Right. Like they were very hospitable. They were like walking around making sure everyone was like. Okay. And good. Right. There was a pre-plan. Yes. There was an event plan and then there was an after plan.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. You know, I really appreciate that.

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Like if you're gonna have a networking event or a friend event or a dating event, like you need to put opportunities on the table for people to talk to each other because Yeah, [00:10:00] just going to a baseball game and sitting there is not gonna be it. Right? Yeah. So I really appreciated that the pre-game was very imperative.

Empaths Anonymous: It kind of like. Yeah. Allowed you to like figure out who you meshed with. Vibed with, like, friendship, romantic relationship or potential for one. Right. And then you can like figure out who like you wanna sit next to at the game. Yes. And like, vibe with and, and have a good time. You wanna make sure? Oh girl, we did and we had time.

Empaths Anonymous: Oh girl. It was good. And it was a good time. Yes. Crystina was feeling herself. I looked at him, I'm like, you wanna sit by me or what? I felt like I was in like middle school again. wanna sit, wanna sit by me on the bus? You're standing next to me. Right. Yeah, it was more just kind of like, it is what it is.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. And it was a good time. I feel like the people that we met were like definitely past the vibe check. Right. We're really like easygoing, fun to be around. Yes. And we're laughing at all of our jokes 'cause we're hilarious. Period. And I feel like just tease as much as I did. And I'm like, he, I said, that's my man.

Empaths Anonymous: He's like, no, that's. Man, I'm like, oh, period, period, period. Yeah. And we just really loved like the passion that everybody also had [00:11:00] for baseball. Yes. Like, yes, we were there to meet each other and yes, we were there to have a good time, but like also we wanted to go watch some baseball. Yes. So it was a great time.

Empaths Anonymous: Amazing time. We loved it. And we can't wait for the next one. So. It's been good. Absolutely. Yeah. We'll keep our eye out and if you guys are in, I think they just do it in Southern California, mostly la but some events in San Diego. so we will link the drafted events, Instagram in the show notes. But with all that being said, we can yap, yap, yap. Mm-hmm. Speaking of dating, speaking of going to a singles event mm-hmm. We thought it was just, everything's just always, it was always an alignment, honey.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. And the, the fact that like, we are even able to like, say that we have Sabrina Zohar, like the most amazing, like just. Tell you how it is. Yes. Type. Like no fucking fluff. No fucking bullshit. Like she is here to tell you the truth. And I need that about everything. I need that. Especially yourself.

Empaths Anonymous: I don't want the fluff. Yes, exactly right. And so give it to me straight. Give it to me straight, honey. [00:12:00] Yeah. So we're so excited to have her on the podcast. Of course. We're always honored when somebody says yes. To us, but it just, we've tried to have other dating experts on in the past. It just didn't align.

Empaths Anonymous: And then so when she said yes, we're like, maybe it was for this. Yeah. Period. Maybe it was because this was meant to happen. Right? So without further ado, enjoy our conversation with Sabrina. 

Today, we are so excited to be having a dating expert, someone who has a amazing dating podcast On her name is Sabrina Zohar. She is the multifaceted entrepreneur and media figure responsible for coaching hundreds of thousands of people to start doing the work to improve their dating life, their relationships with others, and more importantly, their relationships with their selves.

Empaths Anonymous: Welcome to the podcast, Sabrina.

Sabrina Zohar: Hi guys! Thank you for having me! 

Empaths Anonymous: We're so excited to have you. Yeah, of course. We talk about dating so much and from the lens of like mental health and how we're supposed to put our best foot forward and getting to ourselves all at the same time, it's like healing isn't linear, all these things, right? So we're so excited to get into the conversation, but always a check in with everyone.

Empaths Anonymous: What is in your cup today? What are you literally sipping on? And what is in your cup of life? How are you feeling?

Sabrina Zohar: Oh, so I'm literally sipping on, I'm a water girl. I'm one of

Empaths Anonymous: Uh.

Sabrina Zohar: that's like I love if I don't have water. I love Coca-Cola, so it's too much of a pendulum swing. [00:01:00] and so I am drinking my trace mineral water because I need to be hydrating a little bit better. And I think in my life cup, I mean gal pals, I am through a transition right now.

Sabrina Zohar: It has been. My cup is stepping into who I am and letting go of who I thought I was and embracing the newness, embracing, stepping into my power. And so with that comes a lot of transition. So there's a lot of

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: but I'm really excited to see how they clear up and then where this is gonna go. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Good. We love that. I, I know, we understand. We understand the mark. Yeah. Honestly, I am kind of having that similar thing where it's like I moving into this new version of myself, but also like grieving an old version of myself, and actually I. I won't get too much into it, but I had a dating relationship recently, like literally Saturday, where I saw like an old version of Christina and like how she kind of operates in like needing validation and like relationships and stuff like that.

Empaths Anonymous: And I was like, Ooh, I don't like that. Let's, let's leave her behind because we've [00:02:00] learned, we've progressed, we're trying to move forward. So I definitely feel you on that sentiment.

Sabrina Zohar: It's been interesting, especially with the, like, how do you grow and evolve while also honoring who you were, right?

Empaths Anonymous: Mm mm.

Sabrina Zohar: able to hold space of, I can grieve the ending of this, but I can also let all these different parts of me know. Thank you. Like thank you for creating, thank you for being there.

Sabrina Zohar: Thank you for supporting me because I think, you know, I, I'm curious your experiences as well, but I think we have. Normalize this, like kill the ego and get rid of anything negative. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: really normalized is how do you actually learn to live with the parts of yourself that did show up?

Sabrina Zohar: How can we learn to move forward knowing that there are parts of me that I don't think are livable? There are parts of me that I think are really, really tyrant and acting up, but at the end of the day, those parts were protecting us from something they were trying to keep us safe at some point in our life.

Sabrina Zohar: And that's why for me, it's so important for me to also give gratitude for those app of those experiences. 'cause like your girl was a hot mess. I was a, the epitome of a hot mess. Look it up in the dictionary. And there's my photo. [00:03:00] And I look back at that version of me with so much gratitude because I know she was doing the best she could with the information that she knew. But I

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: I'm so proud of where I've become and who I've become. So

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: we're having this conversation of grief and allowing the endings to come because it makes space for what's actually for us. 

Empaths Anonymous: Exactly. Yeah. Yes. And if you hadn't been that girl in the past, you wouldn't be able to talk to thousands if not millions of people. Yeah. About dating. 'cause you wouldn't have it from an informed place of like, look, I was that crazy girl and I was able to like really address my patterns and really get ahold of my anxiety and emotions.

Empaths Anonymous: And now I can show up better in relationships. So. We always have to, like you said, have gratitude. Mm-hmm. But just to get started and jump right into it so I listened to you on Hands podcast, how I see it for everybody listening, and I was sat the entire episode, I think I was like driving from here Temecula down to like, Carlsbad or something like that.

Empaths Anonymous: So I had like a [00:04:00] longer drive. And so I was sat for the whole thing and I was like, wow, like this is such, like, this was exactly what I needed to hear that day. It's just so. Funny how like things are aligned that way. But something that you mentioned that really was like thought provoking for me is there seems to be this trend of people blaming, like their dating patterns on being an empath or, you know, being a, a deep feeler.

Empaths Anonymous: And it's like, while I wanna hold space for people who like do identify as somebody who is a little bit empathic let's talk about like how true or untrue this may be and how we're maybe using that as a crutch.

Sabrina Zohar: Totally. And I love Han. She's so fantastic. So, and I didn't realize that we were all local. I used to live in Carlsbad, so 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh wow, so fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: Okay, so I think when it comes to the conversation, I, and I understand it 'cause I used to have a friend, and every time something would happen, she'd go, well, but you know, I, I'm an empath.

Sabrina Zohar: And it, it got to a point where after a while it was like explanation or excuse, right? Like, it's one thing to say, oh, I'm more empath. Like I feel, I feel [00:05:00] more than other people might feel. Okay. Of course valid co I totally understand that. I'm a, I'm a highly sensitive person. I completely understand that.

Sabrina Zohar: I might feel it a little differently, but I think where the word, where it starts to get muddy is a lot of people are using that as an excuse and really where it can come.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: oftentimes empathy can actually just be anxious attachment on overdrive because when you're hypervigilant, when you're constantly monitoring somebody else's emotions and feelings, when you are taking, how you are feeling is now suddenly how I'm feeling. That's no longer empathy. Right? At that point. Now we are going into, I. Coping mechanisms we're going into for a lot of people, like the girl that I was explaining, when she would say, oh, I, you know, I'm an empath. It's like, no, dude, you're just living in your trauma because you are. This guy said something to you that you didn't like, and now all of a sudden your entire day is ruined.

Sabrina Zohar: And you're saying, well, he's going through a tough time, so I'm going through a tough time. It's like, no, that's also codependency.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: So we can have empathy, we can have sympathy for other people. I can understand right now, like, uh, when before we came on, I was talking about a tooth. My [00:06:00] tooth surgery. If you've had

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: you can say, oh my God, I know how you feel.

Sabrina Zohar: It is so terrible. I get it. Ugh, my heart goes out to you. But if I'm having tooth pain and all of a sudden your whole day is completely ruined because of my experience, well then what happens is it's actually like there's a lot of hypervigilance taking place of constantly scanning for safety, looking at the behavior, trying to assess where are they, what are they, what's happening, right?

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: we start to lose and go from, oh, okay, I understand how you're feeling to now all of a sudden you are. Our feelings now become my problem. And that's where I think we get a little muddied. And you know, it's funny, when I first started dating my partner, he said, I don't believe in empathy.

Sabrina Zohar: And I was like, are you fucking, like, who are you? What's wrong with you? And what he actually meant was he's more into stoicism and he's more

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I. I, he says, I can understand what you're going through, but I don't want to feel what you're feeling because then that means I'm putting myself into your shoes.

Sabrina Zohar: Okay, fine, fine, fine. We wanna look at it in a different way. And I said, okay. But at the end of the day, he learned, he does have empathy. When I'm going through something he says, I, I, [00:07:00] I, I might not have ever experienced it, but I understand how you could feel. Great. That's a big difference. Then I'm gonna feel what you feel. 

Empaths Anonymous: Right, right. Yeah. As a highly sensitive person, it's taken me such a long time to not attach. Because I think that like we as wherever you fall on the spectrum of empathy or being highly sensitive, it's like you tend to then attach yourselves. 'cause it's almost this need to like, well, let me fix it. Let me, let me make it feel better.

Empaths Anonymous: Or like, I feel this so deeply that now I identify with that, or I identify with you. It really is a practice of like breaking that habit and not attaching to other people's feelings or experiences.

Sabrina Zohar: And to your point, that fixer, right? Like they're like, oh, I'll just fix it. That's actually, so I was just, I was just talking to Dick Schwartz yesterday who created IFS, and that's actually a part. So when we have the fixer, that could usually be a protector part, because what happens is that. Part comes out going, I'm uncomfortable.

Sabrina Zohar: What you're going through is making me, I, I don't like it, so let me fix it because then I can get rid of, or what you're going through is triggering me. [00:08:00] I don't like where it's taking me, so let me focus on you, and then if I focus on you, I don't have to deal with what's coming up from me. And oftentimes with the fixer. It's also a, a, you know, let also preface everything that we're talking about today doesn't mean anybody is a bad person

Empaths Anonymous: Right, right.

Sabrina Zohar: There's no judgment. There's no shame. There's no blame. Somewhere along the way, we learned I need to put my needs aside because if I can fix what's going on, if I can take care of this, if I can make it, then one, I have all the control.

Sabrina Zohar: And that feels really good. When you don't feel like you have any two, I can. Make everything okay and then I don't have to deal with it. And three, I get to avoid dealing with what's coming up for me. And so it sounds on paper of like, oh, they're just trying to help. And it's like, but where is the fine line between trying to help and then trying to avoid what's coming up? 

Empaths Anonymous: Exactly. Yeah. Which leads me to kind of a. Question off. Our last question is how can we, as people showing up on this spectrum of being a deep feeler, I guess I, I'll put it that way. How can we focus on our emotional health so that we can focus, show up better in relationships? Because we do know it starts with [00:09:00] us.

Sabrina Zohar: A hundred percent. I think what's really important is there's a couple of things. One, if you wanna start to show up differently, then we have to understand what are the patterns and behaviors that I've learned to begin with. So it's like taking an inventory in stock of, okay, I'm known to be a fixer. I'm known that like my pattern is that when I feel uncomfortable, I automatically go in.

Sabrina Zohar: Okay, so then my second question will be, so what are my choices? are my choices in the moment? Okay, so what are my tools and my regulating techniques? So if I'm a highly sensitive person and like as the, I used to be to the point where people made fun of me, they're like, God, everything makes Sabrina get upset or sensitive. Everything would cause me to cry, to get upset. To get irate. To get frantic, right. And really what that meant is I didn't have any control on my emotions. I'm not saying that you're not allowed to have the emotions. Of course

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: But what I am saying is that we need to be able to regulate our nervous system, come back into the present moment and understand what is actually happening right now.

Sabrina Zohar: Like, is this a, is this a threat? Is this really somebody that says something to me, or that there's a real issue, right? Or am I projecting my discomfort onto them? Am I trying to avoid, right? And so [00:10:00] I. I think it's a couple of things. One, start to notice the sensations in your body. If we really think, 'cause so many of us are trying to intellectualize, by the time we actually get there, your prefrontal cortex is shut off and you probably don't even know what's going on. So instead, what we wanna do is, okay, if I feel like I need to over give or empathize, right? If I. Find, constantly see that I'm getting so worked up about something. Then what I wanna first do is take a pause and the power of the pause changed my fucking life. I'm not gonna lie. Being able to just stop and sit in a discomfort of like, I really wanna fix this right now, but I also know that that's not my job, and so I'm gonna sit with what's coming up for me.

Sabrina Zohar: And then we have something called secondary gains. What are my. Primary gains might be, oh, I don't wanna have to deal with that. What are the secondary gains? Okay, if I focus on them, the secondary gains are cool. I don't have to deal with what's coming up. For me, the secondary gains are if I stay in this relationship, I don't have to acknowledge that I actually do deserve better, and then I don't have to deal with the fact that for a long time I didn't mourn the fact that I never got it Right.

Sabrina Zohar: You see what I'm saying? 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: always secondary gains, so we have to understand if I'm a highly sensitive. Person, what are my [00:11:00] secondary gains of staying in that versus what are my choices and how can I actually be able to support my partner and have an understanding of, oh my God, I'm so sorry you're going through that.

Sabrina Zohar: But then having it stop and go, okay, but this is where it stops, right? I cannot now overgive and over care and over empathize with you because then I've lost control of my own emotional needs and wants and desires to take care of you, and I'm not your fucking police. 

Empaths Anonymous: for it.

Sabrina Zohar: ever had that? I was gonna say, have you guys ever had that where you've realized in the moment you're like, I think I'm being a little,

Empaths Anonymous: Oh, 

Sabrina Zohar: in the bounds. 

Empaths Anonymous: absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. No, we've had to completely reframe how we think about empathy and, and highly sensitive. People as this superpower that really needs to be like honed in and treated very delicately because it requires a lot of personal responsibility and accountability. Mm-hmm. What are the parts of ourselves that we're very much abandoning and ignoring so that we don't have to deal with that shit?

Empaths Anonymous: Because it's like, Ugh, my focus is somebody else. Like, [00:12:00] I don't have to worry about me at all. Right. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so it kind of speaks to. Knowing yourself in a certain way. And how we're going to be able to connect with others or are we completely disconnected from others? It's kind of this epidemic.

Empaths Anonymous: I feel like, that we're all collectively feeling this loss of connection with one another. And we feel like part of the reason that. Dating shows and media and podcasts just in general as a whole, are so popular right now. And they're, so, it's really like, as Wendy Williams says, hot topics. And so we just wanna know because there's this collective frustration also with the loss of connection with one another, is there not necessarily something or someone to blame, but how much of a role does social media and dating apps play into this?

Sabrina Zohar: Okay, so, and I think it's a valid question. I think the dating app conversation, I don't live under a rock, right? Like

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: there and be like, what [00:13:00] dating apps are causing anxiety? No shit. It's like, yeah, I was odd then,

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: my partner on Hinge, so I had to use the fucking app in order to meet 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: So I get that I will be here all day and I think that there's a couple of things. I gonna blame a hundred percent on the company? No. That would be irresponsible to be like, it's all their

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: at the end of the day, then that takes away our personal accountability. And I think that there's a few things that are causing a lot of issues right now. One, when it comes to the dating apps, our bodies, our brains, our nervous system is not prepared for this type of technology. We are

Empaths Anonymous: Mm. 

Sabrina Zohar: phase in our evolution,

Empaths Anonymous: Mm

Sabrina Zohar: all of a sudden, at any given time, I have full access to anybody on the planet at any second of the day. I. And what that's done is it's spread a lot of, it's spread a lot of arrogance.

Sabrina Zohar: It's spread a lot of entitlement, and it's spread a lot of the like, well, why are you on a dating app? You should be here for the reasons I'm on. Without a people understanding like, oh wait, maybe people are having other lived experiences. Maybe not everybody wants the same thing as me. Right? We don't really take stock of it. We just automatically assume, well, I'm doing this, so thus you should be doing this. [00:14:00] So I think there's a big disconnection off the bat because of technology and cell phones and things like that. We have opportunities Instead of being like, wow, I'm really uncomfortable right now. I could just grab my phone. I can grab my phone and doom scroll for seven hours and then completely bypass anything that's coming up for me. Whereas I don't know about you guys, but I went hiking recently and we forgot our phones and I was just sitting there and just like, I was like, wow. So. is 'cause my Ryan went to go do something for the dog.

Sabrina Zohar: He had to pee, you know, he was doing that and I was just alone. I was sitting on a stump and I was like, so this is what it feels like to just have to be with myself, with nothing in my surroundings. And I

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: of people don't do that. So I think there is, you know, the casino always wants to win, but I also think that as I.

Sabrina Zohar: Humans and as people that are engaging on dating apps, your responsibility on a dating app is to become a better buyer. Your responsibility is to understand how am I showing up? What are my, what are my photos? What are my prompts? Am I showing up in the ways that I want to? This is my resume. This is my calling card.

Sabrina Zohar: This is the first. If I leave the house and I go to the the bar, am I gonna look like a schmo? No. I'm gonna put my makeup on. I'm gonna take

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I'm gonna show up with my [00:15:00] confidence, because that's my first impression. Now the only difference is it's on a screen and not in front of my eyeballs.

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: So that's the second thing is what am I looking for, right? I can't tell you how many people will show me profiles they go for, and I'm like, there was no depth. They didn't have anything on there that they were cute. Okay? So they were tall and they were, you know, attractive.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: are so many other people.

Sabrina Zohar: And then the third thing is, what is my relationship to the apps? Am I on a dopamine reward system that every time I get a message, I'm getting excited and going on? Am I projecting that well, I haven't met anybody. This is my only chance. Am I putting a lot of pressure onto the apps because it's. Another way of meeting people.

Sabrina Zohar: Do you, to anybody listening, do you go out to a bar and every single night you're like, I have to meet them. Why isn't this per No, you

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: your night. If you meet somebody, you meet someone. If you don't, you go home.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: that's, I think, the energy we need to bring to the apps because it started to work for me when I changed my relationship to how I saw the apps and to how I, because I would, I would get a guy as a heterosexual woman just speaking in those norms.

Sabrina Zohar: Please insert any pronoun that

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I was talking to people on [00:16:00] there to gentlemen. And if they didn't answer that was it. I'd be hyperventilate. I'd be hyper fixating. I would look and why didn't they call me? Why didn't they text me? I don't understand. I'd look at their messages, but I swear.

Sabrina Zohar: But we had this conversation, what can I say? To get them back instead of going, yeah, this doesn't work for me. not gonna, I'm not gonna force a connection here. I was so hyper fixated on it. This is what's gonna save me. This is how I'm gonna find my

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: And then I got really, really bummed.

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: one aspect.

Sabrina Zohar: Then we go onto the social media component. love social media for the sense. I mean, I created my career. I'm grateful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna bite the hand that feeds me, but unfortunately. Not everybody uses it with the same responsibility. And there's a

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: of, I mean, if I go on to Insta TikTok one more fucking time to TikTok University and see like, oh, if a guy, if somebody says this, they're avoidant and it's like, I'm sorry, you have no data and understanding to give this type of feedback.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: did you have with this person? What else have they exhibited? No. Nope. They're not a narcissist. That person just sounds like an asshole, right? There's a lot of conflicting information and I think a lot of people, what we've gone [00:17:00] to now is because things like chat, GBT, I don't know if you guys saw.

Sabrina Zohar: MIT just did a study that showed that chat, GBT is ruining our critical thinking capabilities

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: have to critically think about anything. It gives it to us, and I find that that's kind of the culture that we're in right now is like, I don't wanna have to actually work at this.

Sabrina Zohar: I want you to just tell me what I need to do and I want you to do it and get it done with please. Thank you. What do you mean I have to work for it? It's like, Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: Doing this work, coming home to yourself, having a healthy and secure relationship fucking takes work. Running a business takes work. Waking up in the morning takes work for me.

Sabrina Zohar: Everything that to me, matters, takes work. And I feel like we've been sold this false bill of goods because at any second I can just go on instant and find the content I want.

Empaths Anonymous: Yes. 

Sabrina Zohar: resonates with what I'm looking

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: opposed to what do I actually need, which is where I start to see the difference.

Sabrina Zohar: Because I know girls, we have the same internet. If I go on TikTok one more time and see a guy of like, if a guy doesn't text you every day, he doesn't like you, it's like, and now please tell me how's his relationship? How is his, what is he, what depth is he bringing to the table? [00:18:00] Instead of some guy sitting in his car giving you this advice, but you wanna hear it so it's gonna resonate for you because we go looking for what it is that we're trying to find, 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh yeah. And then we train the algorithm. Yeah. And they're like, oh, you like this girl? Watch this. I wanna go that. I'm glad that you brought that up 'cause I wanted to go deeper on it. I, so I had to ask her because I didn't really know what this whole like red pill, blue pill thing was until we started watching Love Island and we're just kind of seeing how some of the Islanders are behaving.

Empaths Anonymous: I had no idea what it meant. I don't listen to Andrew Tate or whoever talks about it. I don't like. I don't seek out content that tells you that the other person is the problem. Mm-hmm. Because what does that do? It's just creating so much divide and like the, the, the black cat and the golden retriever and the, I don't know, all these different trope, trope that we, that we've made of like, you need to be chased, you're a queen, blah, blah, blah, all these things.

Empaths Anonymous: And now guys are telling 'em like, well, no, you're the prize. You need to be chased. And it's like we're all just fucking confused because we're like, okay, well what is it? Yeah. And who is creating these? [00:19:00] Concepts and it's like, well, why don't we just look at their relationships? And it's like, well, are they happy and fulfilled?

Empaths Anonymous: Are they having, you know, secure conversa or secure attachments and like healthy conversations with people? It's like the internet just kind of runs rampant with things. And I think that that also is adding to this like frustration a lot of the time.

Sabrina Zohar: A hundred percent. I am so guilty of that. The other day, there's this one. Creator on TikTok, that's getting a lot of hot water. Rightfully so. She sucks. And I saw a video and I was like, oh my God. And I started telling Ryan, and then I looked at the comments and they were like, this isn't real, this. And I was like, oh shit.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: quickly just ate right into it because I wanted to believe it. 'cause she sucks so bad. And I wanted to believe that. That's why.

Empaths Anonymous: Yes.

Sabrina Zohar: couldn't. Right. And I think to your point, it's a really good point to make is like who is create their goalposts, keep changing who is creating this. And that's why even with me, people

Empaths Anonymous: Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: what?

Sabrina Zohar: You know, somebody came at me and said, well, you have all these rules. I said, what rules do I have? Where did I create it? I was like, because what [00:20:00] I'm saying might not work for you, and that's okay. You're allowed to have a different lived experience. But what I'm doing is saying at the end of the day, can't control any of that.

Sabrina Zohar: All I can do is control this.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: yeah, the red pill content, I only learned about that when I created a TikTok.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm. 

Sabrina Zohar: Because sometimes there's different algorithms, like on

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: Instagram, there's like six different algorithms, and I somehow got involved in the manosphere like that, where all of a sudden you're like, whoa, where are all these trolls attacking me?

Sabrina Zohar: Being like, you're lucky. A man will look at you and you're like, I'm giving you

Empaths Anonymous: Oh, Jesus. 

Sabrina Zohar: questions to ask on a first date. What are 

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Where did this come from?

Sabrina Zohar: see the comments are so manic. They're so, and that's when I realized like we have to remember these people exist. And like my partner always says, think about the stupidest person that you know.

Sabrina Zohar: And remember that 49% of the population is dumber. 

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm. Yikes. 

Sabrina Zohar: out there, and

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: a keyboard and everybody has thumbs and everybody can leave

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: look at is. You know, I had one client, she said, my friend told me that every [00:21:00] guy, or no, my friend told me that I'm too much.

Sabrina Zohar: And I said, what do you mean? She said, well, I wanted to have this conversation with the guy that I'm dating. And my good friend said, no, no, no, you're gonna scare him off. And to me, I was like, she had nothing that she was saying was scary by any

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: I said, can I ask you would you date him? And like, would you switch lives with him?

Sabrina Zohar: And she's like, oh God, no. He's super avoidant. He doesn't, he can't hold a relationship. He can't keep a girl. so then what are you doing? Taking his dating advice? I said,

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: not to do that because he's projecting his insecurities. He's uncomfortable with what you're saying. So he's telling you don't do it. But then we have to stop and go, but do I wanna become this person? Not really. So why the fuck am I gonna listen to them? 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Hello. Exactly. I really have to like ask myself like where am I getting my advice from and what I would I live their life? Like what you said. Mm-hmm. So then our next question to that is, as people who do want to. Seek out healthy relationships. Who do wanna be in tune with themselves and their emotions?

Empaths Anonymous: How do we then flip the script and how do we kind of [00:22:00] navigate this really strange time that we're living in for dating and say like, I do wanna show up intentionally. I wanna show up authentically and find my person

Sabrina Zohar: Oh, I think the biggest thing to remember is like, I love all of that and I am so here for that. It's the same as when people tell me like, I only wanna do in-person dating. Fuck the apps. I'm like, okay, okay, cool. You

Empaths Anonymous: right.

Sabrina Zohar: we're gonna need to do. We're gonna learn how to have to grieve. We are gonna have to learn how to grieve.

Sabrina Zohar: Because right.

Sabrina Zohar: now, when you wanna start, anytime you start to change things, like people don't change.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: evolve, we can grow, we can rewire. You are not gonna change character's. Destiny fundamentally. I'm not gonna turn in tomorrow to be become like a fucking nun, right? Like that's just, that's not gonna happen.

Sabrina Zohar: This is not, that's who I

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: And so. What we have to also look at is that if I'm going on this journey, I'm gonna have to say, good. No, goodbye to a lot of people that have benefited from the unhealed version of me. I'm gonna have to understand that as I start to set boundaries and say no to things that I used to say yes to, I'm gonna lose people because they are, they are there for the other version of me. I'm gonna have to know that there's a lot of people out there that are not doing the [00:23:00] work, that are not trying to show up any differently that are okay to be Jeremiah and Love Island, who are just like, I'm in therapy, but I'm gonna love bomb you. And now to be fair, I do think he got the short under the stick, which I'm sure we'll talk about 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh yeah, for sure. We'll,

Sabrina Zohar: Right. I do. I think I do kind of think he got a little shafted, but nonetheless I thought that the way that that all plant trans transpired wasn't really stoked on

Empaths Anonymous: mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: And I think that there's just a lot of people or the hood does of the world that are just gonna go around and, and be fucking manic and scream and yell and talk you or fucking bitch and all that and go and insane and not stop and go, whoa, what's coming up for me?

Sabrina Zohar: How

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: my body? Right. There's a level of emotional maturity that most people are not gonna reach. And I think if you wanna start to go on this journey, you gotta decide if you're okay to be one of those fewer people and grieving the endings that are gonna happen. Grieving the fact that you're probably not gonna just go out tomorrow and meet your person.

Sabrina Zohar: You're still, and I think the common misconception I see with the healing journey. As a lot of people have been sold this false bill of goods, that healing means I'm never gonna feel sad or I'm never gonna feel anxious, or I'm never gonna feel these emotions. Oh, that's a crock of shit. [00:24:00] Whoever told you that is lying. Healing will just mean that you have new tools and new capabilities to handle things differently, but you're still gonna have the same emotions will still come up 'cause you're a human. But what happens is you don't attach to the stories as much. You've learned to go, Hey, whoa, I've, I've worked through this.

Sabrina Zohar: I don't need to go there immediately. That's not my gut reaction. My journey is this. We've learned that you're gonna meet people and what. At the end of the day, the reason you're healing isn't so that you don't meet them. It's that you can identify and walk away from the ones that don't work. And so I think it's a lot of being okay with the fact that taking up space means you're gonna piss people off.

Sabrina Zohar: Who benefited from the fact that you stayed small? 

Empaths Anonymous: Exactly. Yeah. And I'm, I'm very comfortable with sharing. I mean, we both share a lot of our journey on here. So as I mentioned, I had an experience this last weekend and I, we set intentions in the car we were going to do you know what draft it is? Have you heard of them? They are a like a social club that they go to sports games and it's all singles.

Empaths Anonymous: So they'll do like a, yeah, they'll do like a pregame. So you can go and you can meet [00:25:00] people before then you go to the game and then they'll usually do something after, like, let's go get dinner, let's go get drinks, whatever, whatever. Mm-hmm. So we made intentions. We're going down there. We're like, we're prepared to have like a really good time and we still did.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. And I still wanna give myself grace for the fact that like my intention was to have a good time and I did. Right. But I think it already set an expectation because it was like a dating event. Right. And we get there and. To, to be kind. It was just slim pickings. Right. 

Sabrina Zohar: yeah, yeah. 

Empaths Anonymous: You know, everyone's at, at different places in, in their life.

Empaths Anonymous: And so I kind of made some choices that while I don't think they were wrong choices, I think that they're not choices that align with the person that I wanting to be now. And kind of like I said earlier, they aligned to like the, the younger, like Christina in her twenties. Like I grew up in Vegas and I was very much like.

Empaths Anonymous: Party girl crash out city like I probably, she was outside at times, looked like a hood. You know what I'm saying? Like I was just very like reactive, you [00:26:00] know? Now I'm in my early thirties and I was diagnosed with OCD and I'm like, oh, that makes sense. It makes sense that I was always ruminating, I was always triggered.

Empaths Anonymous: Down the line. Right. And so I made some of these decisions and then I really had to have like an emotional moment. And it's like, I'm really grateful that I have somebody on this journey who's kind of looking for similar things or similar qualities in people. Right. And is also, you know, exploring this new side of like.

Empaths Anonymous: Being newly single and stuff. So, I love that she's my safe person. 'cause I can just go to her and be like, oh my God, oh my god, I'm, you know, in a safe container, right? That I'm not like completely like spiraling out, but really having that moment of like self-reflection, it's like, it's okay that I did something that kind of felt violating to my conscience and that I don't normally do anymore.

Empaths Anonymous: And that now I can take this as a step to like learn from it. And it's like, okay, these are why I have the tools I have, or maybe these are why I have the boundaries that I have. Like I don't really like to drink a lot anymore. And so it's like I, [00:27:00] you know, in the spirit of this event, I kind of got a little swept up.

Empaths Anonymous: I had way more to drink than I normally would and that's okay. And so maybe things, things were a little bit blurred for me because I had more to, more to drink. And it's like, how can you really, like I knew this person for like what? 12 hours if that. Right? Yeah. And so allowing yourself to like still make the mistakes is okay.

Empaths Anonymous: It doesn't mean that you're not still on your, her, uh, healing journey, because just 'cause you decide to make different choices for yourself doesn't mean you're not gonna still have those, like, I wouldn't say rock bottom moment, but an emotional breakthrough.

Sabrina Zohar: So right there, what you just described is why you did the healing journey and what changed, right? What

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: Okay. Well, you still made a choice. Right.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: a choice. Maybe, like you said, might not be proud of it, might not be stoked on it, but I made the choice. What changed is if you were back before you would've attacked yourself, you would've belittled yourself.

Sabrina Zohar: You would've fucking spiraled. You would've been in this, but now you chose to have compassion for yourself and say, I did the best I could with the information. I know I'm a human. I've evolved. I [00:28:00] moved on right next day. I'm safe. Thank God I'm safe. I'm alive. I'm 

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: Right? Nothing happened. I've got all my limbs.

Sabrina Zohar: I'm okay.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: That right there is why you did the Healing Journey. You notice how maybe nothing changed. It's okay that you still made a human choice. That I, I make stupid decisions all the time. I've made videos before going, oh, I missed the mark. I missed the fucking mark. This wasn't it today, baby. But instead of being like, you're fucking more on, I spiraling and oh my God.

Sabrina Zohar: I was like, Hey, you have another day. You have another opportunity you have tomorrow.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I will get it. And I think that Right. there is how you do the work. Because then what you do is instead of belittling yourself, shaming yourself, blaming yourself, doing probably what you had been done to you growing up, what you, what you learn, that's how

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: ourselves.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: those exile parts, what you learned to do was say, Hey. I see you. I hear you. I love you. You reparented yourself to be the adult you didn't have when you needed somebody. And how did that result in, Hey, I'm all right. I showed myself compassion. By showing yourself compassion, you also just gave yourself dopamine.

Sabrina Zohar: So you 

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: now feeding your own dopamine [00:29:00] reward system, which means I can control my dysregulation a little bit more quite easily because I understand what I need to do to give myself what I didn't get. Growing up or what I'm hoping somebody else is gonna give, and what a beautiful ending. It didn't work necessarily if you didn't find somebody, but you have somebody that you can now get even deeper with on your journey, which means that it was a success.

Sabrina Zohar: The

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Mm-hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: that you met 

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: that. The success was that you learned, you grew and you now realize even more that the person that you went with is somebody that's even closer to you than you thought before. And that's such a beautiful 

Empaths Anonymous: Right. And she's there to remind me. 'cause I kind of had that moment of like, well, like why is it like, why hasn't he texted me? Or like, you know, like, why, like the vibes? I mean, I can, I feel when things shift, right? So I'm like, you know what, like the vibes just kinda shifted and why like, did I do something?

Empaths Anonymous: What, whatever. And she's like, well, why are you like, who's to say it's a problem with you? You know what I mean? And so kind of to my point earlier is like completely detaching from these stories. Like we try to fill, fill the blanks in in our head and it's [00:30:00] like, I'm never gonna know. This person also isn't somebody that I feel like after taking the time to assess, I wanna continue dating.

Empaths Anonymous: And so it's all good. I don't need to torture myself with all of the wise.

Sabrina Zohar: Yeah. Why is your brain's way of intellectualizing to avoid feeling the pain? 

Sabrina Zohar: You further into that? And another way to also do is like, you could, you know, I love it. What you did was you guys, like, you know, you had the version of this would be mental, of like, have a cup of coffee with your inner critic, but instead it's like, maybe we can also look and say, okay, how old did I feel. Oh, I felt like a kid. Right. Okay. So that's the part of me that feels really scared right now because this person didn't text us. And maybe I can get curious about what that part's trying to protect me from. Oh my God, they didn't text you. Oh, that means he doesn't like you. Okay. How's this benefiting me?

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: for my highest good? No, no. I think that comes from an anxiety spiral. Okay. What's that part Afraid of? I'm gonna be replaced. Nobody likes me or I'm gonna, I'm gonna be forgotten. Right? Whatever. Whatever the, okay, so that's the real fear. So it means that that's valid. That part of me is definitely feeling this right now, but where the reality is that's [00:31:00] geared towards mom and dad, that has nothing to do with this person.

Sabrina Zohar: So now I get to be that version of me to let myself know that like, Hey, like you said,

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: to be something about me? It doesn't always mean that there's something wrong with me and because I have no facts to back up that I did anything wrong, then I'm gonna live in the space that I can, that I didn't, and that I'm really proud of the way that I showed up.

Sabrina Zohar: And that sounds like a him decision. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I listened to one of your episodes. You had, I forget their name, but they're like I think a neuroscientist.

Sabrina Zohar: So there's Nicole. Vignola or Brit Frank.

Empaths Anonymous: Nicole. Yeah. And you guys were just kind of talking about, what the brain is doing when you're, when you're on the apps, like you talk about a lot like the dopamine scroll and the dopamine hits, and even this, like the patterns that are going on in our brain. For people who like, I mean, I'm somebody, I asked her this literally the other day.

Empaths Anonymous: I'm like, why do I keep attracting these types of people? Right? For other people who are like highly sensitive or, you know, kind of on this healing path. What advice would you give them if they find [00:32:00] themselves constantly attracting the same type of person? 

Sabrina Zohar: Let's start to look at the patterns.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: this is when I say who, what's the common denominator? I don't mean that you're the problem. That's not what

Empaths Anonymous: Right?

Sabrina Zohar: I mean is what about the way I'm showing up is allowing these people into my life, because you're gonna still meet them, right? I used to only date narcissists.

Sabrina Zohar: I

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: him. Oh my God. That was like my thing. 'cause that's my dad. If you met my father, you'd be like, oh, wow. She's not kidding. Textbook 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: was familiar. What happened was my nervous system was created to around that. And so now what I look at is, it's not that I don't meet narcissists, of course they're still there, they still exist, they're still running around the planet.

Sabrina Zohar: But now I have boundaries. Now I know how to stand up for myself and say no when I wanna say yes. Now I know that what I, right. So what we have to look at is what is the pattern? If the pattern is, I'm a highly sensitive person and I consistently keep dating these people that are emotionally unavailable.

Sabrina Zohar: Okay, so what's my part in that? Oh, I'm not being emotionally available either. I'm so focused on why they're not choosing me. But I haven't stopped to think about, this doesn't work for [00:33:00] me. Oh, okay. Well what's the pattern? They keep treating me poorly. Okay. But I allow it. I'm answering the phone calls, I'm responding to the text message.

Sabrina Zohar: I'm talking shit to myself. And Right.

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: it's not about what am I doing wrong, it's what's in my control. What's in my control is that I can take stock. 'cause I, I used to date the same type of people and I would always be like, oh, it's just poor. Woe is me and I just can't find somebody and everybody else, and I really want a relationship.

Sabrina Zohar: And they don't. No bitch. That was not what it was. What it was was I was so disconnected from myself. Yes, on paper I wanted a relationship, but I didn't actually have the emotional capabilities and capacity to receive one. I couldn't sit because when somebody didn't text me, I'd lose my shit, or I'd start to go spiraling or I would do this.

Sabrina Zohar: It's like, oh, okay. So the

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: was showing up was playing into the dynamic, and so I look at it as less about. Because I think attracting, and I know what you mean, but like I think a lot of people look at this as like, but I'm not manifesting this and that's not what

Empaths Anonymous: Right. 

Sabrina Zohar: mean that like you're putting it out into the ether. No.

Empaths Anonymous: No.

Sabrina Zohar: by that is am I showing up and what am I allowing [00:34:00] because I get it. Oh, it's like, oh, I overlooked those red flags. It's like, okay, well that's it. Right? That was it. Is that that part of, you thought that was normal? Now we look and go, that's a pattern because our brain and our nervous system and like this isn't to shame or blame anybody's parents, and this is not about blame your parents and don't take any accountability, but where did you learn it from? Where did you learn it from? How old do you feel? What memories does this remind you of? Where do I go? Oh, this reminds me of when I'm six. What happened when I was six? My dad used to say this, okay, it doesn't mean that I'm talking to my father, but there's a part of me that my prefrontal cortex, which stopped growing at 28. So the part of my brain that's decision making, common sense, critical thinking. What's being fucked up by cha BT that stopped growing at 28. So, and that's the same reason why as like you notice how a high schooler, you could tell them not to drink and drive and they're still gonna do it because they don't have the capabilities to critically think that part of their brain hasn't fully developed yet. But as an adult, when we get dysregulated or something happens that charts up, brain shuts off. So then what happens? You go into the amygdala, which is lizard brain. That is where the fear center, and that's where you hold onto emotions. That stopped growing at [00:35:00] six years old. That's why oftentimes we can feel like a child.

Sabrina Zohar: We react instead of respond. We go into Fawn, right? Be the good girl. Don't say anything. Don't ruffle feathers. Shut your mouth, and just let them do it. what we wanna do is bring ourselves back online to the adult that's sitting here. The 30 5-year-old woman that knows who the fuck she is, that loves herself, that's accepted herself.

Sabrina Zohar: And then now I get to say, am I still attracting those people?

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: Because if I am well, then I'm not being authentic to myself and I'm not showing up in the ways that I want. I might still attract them. You're right, I can still get people. I still have people every day. I might sit here and scream in my podcast like, please speak with kindness. I read all the reviews.

Sabrina Zohar: I'll still get people that are like, you speak too fast. And I sit there and I'm like, cool. So I just shared with you how that hurt me.

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: please not say that. And then you still come and fucking say that. So that shows I want, like what am I doing to attract these people?

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: take ownership of, but you know what I can say, I'm not gonna allow it any further.

Sabrina Zohar: I stand up for myself and you can go fucking kick rock without shoes then if you

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah, 

Sabrina Zohar: to be here. That's on you. 

Empaths Anonymous: [00:36:00] exactly. And I'll just say, I love the way you speak. I'm the kind of person I'm like, I like when people just get to the point. It's like you're very direct.

Empaths Anonymous: And so I love the way that you, you speak. So just putting it out there 

Sabrina Zohar: Thanks babes. I

Empaths Anonymous: of course.

Sabrina Zohar: that. And look, and it's like, and you could say that, and then, you know, and there's somebody down the street being like, I hate it. And it's like, but that's the point of, but who am I? If I

Empaths Anonymous: Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: stand for something, I fall for everything. So if I'm constantly dating the same type of person, then I need to say what is my part in it?

Sabrina Zohar: Because I have to take radical accountability and ownership. But that's the thing. We can't go and be like, well, everything's my fault. It's like, okay, well

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: Now the pendulum is swinging, but how can I stop in the middle and say, okay, what if? What did I use to accept that I no longer willing to, and what are ways that I didn't show up that I now want to Now that's in your control. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah, that's, it's part of, it's part of this whole, I mean, we have these conversations with one another all the time, but I recently. As soon as I got into it [00:37:00] was like I got out of it even quicker because it was like, oh no, the familiarity and it not in a good way, just hit me over the head like it was.

Empaths Anonymous: Brick. You know, I thought that like, oh, this person is so serious. They are so settled into themselves. I have a four and a half year old and I hadn't dated anyone else with kids before and he had a couple of kids himself that were a little bit older. So I'm like, he gets it. He's also a parent. A couple things.

Empaths Anonymous: Here and there that like, I in the moment decided to extend grace and now I understand like why the situation is what it is. But like, I mean down to just the performative actions that this person was doing in front of me and I was like, I have to go and like.

Sabrina Zohar: Yeah. 

Empaths Anonymous: Just the constant, like everything was fast.

Empaths Anonymous: It was like it was a boulder. I'm like, well, let's do this and let's do that and I wanna meet your friend and I gotta go and we're gonna go here [00:38:00] and we're gonna do that and I'm gonna share my calendar with you. Girl. He wanted to share calendars. I was like, that's weird. You've been on one date with him.

Empaths Anonymous: You know what I mean? It was for, not to interrupt you, but it like for like scheduling purposes because Right. We both have busy schedules and he's got the kids and he also has a co-parent and I have a co-parent. So it was a lot of moving parts and I understand like maybe. Not even the why, but like I guess I understand like maybe the scheduling part of it, but like it was so soon and I'm like, how about you just let me know when like your next free like day is right.

Empaths Anonymous: You know? Yeah. Right.

Sabrina Zohar: there's a difference. My partner has my calendar 'cause he works for me and we need to schedule things. So of course he's like, Hey, okay, I'm on your calendar Right.

Sabrina Zohar: now. What? Other than that, I'm also though, that's what freaks me out about the like the, oh, well, why won't my partner share their location?

Sabrina Zohar: I'm like, I'm sorry. Why are they sharing their location?

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: The only thing I say is like, you work late. You know, you, you, you go like you're a woman driving home. I get it. I, there are circumstances especially, but the difference is I'm asking to share my [00:39:00] location with you. I'm not forcing that you need to share your 

Empaths Anonymous: Right, right. 

Sabrina Zohar: And

Empaths Anonymous: difference.

Sabrina Zohar: you're exemplifying is a beautiful example of growth of the version that you used to be, would've totally overlooked it and be like,

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: at myself and saying, I don't like this. And instead, it's not that you didn't meet these people, it's that you saw it, you were out.

Sabrina Zohar: You were able to get to the bottom of it quicker, and you didn't waste your goddamn time and you didn't lose yourself. That's huge. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. And then he, yeah, I, I literal, she got out of it quick. I was like, oh, yes, we're like in 24 hours. Yeah. Yeah. I had a full complete emotional breakdown in the car, but at least I got out. And yeah, when I. When I basically like, called as like a grown woman does and be like, you know, this is just not working for me.

Empaths Anonymous: Like, my boundaries are being pushed a little bit too far. I got hung up on and then text me after he hung up on me that oh by the way, like, you left your jacket here and I threw it in the trash. I was like, perfect. I was like, exactly proving my point. Thank you.

Sabrina Zohar: That's, and you.

Sabrina Zohar: know what? [00:40:00] And that's where you're just like, I'm really glad I listened to my gut. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. So shifting gears a little bit. We had another question, like let's skip it 'cause I would rather spend a couple minutes talking about Love Island.

Sabrina Zohar: The unstables. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Crazy behaviors for sure.

Sabrina Zohar: Yeah, the Unstables this season has been very, it reminds me of Love Is Blind last year where like it was such a hot mess and everybody was talking about it. It's like if I see one more thing on my Feed of Love Island, it's like kind of ad nauseum.

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: I look and I'm like, how's this?

Sabrina Zohar: Is this Right.

Sabrina Zohar: Sustain you guys were going for performance and sensationalism and all that. But I'm wondering, and I'm curious your thoughts too. I wonder if it's gonna have the same Love is Blind effect as like after last season, you know, last year with the Megan Fox thing or whatever, with that girl, 

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: the, the, the next season sucked.

Sabrina Zohar: Like nobody cared. It was really 

Empaths Anonymous: That was horrible.

Sabrina Zohar: now if Love Island, they had the season last year that hit, now this year they're trying to make it happen, but they just have a girl on there. And I'm sorry, but I'm fairly convinced that this year is rigged and I don't think that the votes are actually counting. 

Empaths Anonymous: [00:41:00] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I agree. I think that this happens all the time in media is like, it'll be a huge, like, hit season, right? And then the next one just kind of flops. 'cause you're just trying so hard to like, manufacture things. Mm-hmm. I'm a huge Reddit girl. Like, I love getting on Reddit because I feel like TikTok, like we say, the algorithm shows you what you wanna hear.

Empaths Anonymous: I feel like people on X are also getting a little bit like it's, those are not my communities, I'll just put it right there. But Reddit, I feel like people are like a little bit more, have a little bit more common sense or like thinking through things. It's not a platform that rewards certain, like clickbait, like TikTok does.

Empaths Anonymous: So it's like you're getting people's like real unfiltered feelings. Mm-hmm. I think that people are getting fed up. People are getting to the point where they're exhausted, like, this isn't fun to watch anymore. And these people aren't even, they don't seem to even really care about the love aspect.

Empaths Anonymous: They're all focused on getting to the end. I'm like, oh, well hold up. In order to win, you have to get to the end with somebody who America [00:42:00] like. Sees you actually have chemistry with Yeah. And believes it.

Sabrina Zohar: I was gonna say it's nothing. Feel, this all feels very performative. And what it.

Sabrina Zohar: also d what makes me feel icky is all the people coming out after now being like, I dated this person and 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: left me to go on the show and, and Jeremiah's a model and Nick is a model and they're all in.

Sabrina Zohar: Influencers. 

Empaths Anonymous: right.

Sabrina Zohar: lie. Cierra follows me and I didn't know that and so I was like my girl. I 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh my 

Sabrina Zohar: I 

Empaths Anonymous: gosh. Yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: her. 

Empaths Anonymous: I really, we've really liked her. Yeah. Since the beginning. I think that she's really, honestly probably one of the few people that have kept it pretty like genuine and a hundred since she stepped foot. I, I that proud of I'm of the combo. I'm proud of the combo she had with Nick the other day.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. I love and with Hope she showed up for herself and with Huda. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I, yeah. Out of everybody, I really enjoy Cierra. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I like Alandra. I like, there's something I'm still trying to figure out about her. 

Empaths Anonymous: Same.

Sabrina Zohar: I do like, like I, I like Chelley. I do like kind of her just like whatever, dude, I don't know why we're freaking out. Like she's also a [00:43:00] Badie. She's like 25. Got her own. I saw like a TikTok.

Sabrina Zohar: She's got her own apartment. She got her career Like that 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: you can see she's like a little bit more advanced. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: then I think Amaya. 

Empaths Anonymous: She's hilarious. 

Sabrina Zohar: and 

Empaths Anonymous: But.

Sabrina Zohar: Amaya and Nick should not be there or not. Nick, uh, Amaya and Austen. Amaya and Austen should not be there because first of all, Austen is the epitome of avoidant,

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: avoidant. You notice how he went for Chelley 'cause he couldn't have her, and then the second he found a girl that was into him, all of a sudden it's, I don't feel a spark, I don't feel it. 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. I know. I was like, don't piss me off right now.

Sabrina Zohar: but to, but, and then to be fair, to his credit, Amaya, it's been two days and already you're like, this is it, and we're the one, and it's a connection. And like, truth be told, I, I understand the boundaries. Same with Ace, like. When people call me Babe and love too often, I'm like, you don't know me.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Mm.

Sabrina Zohar: get we're very, it's like, Hey, could you stop with the nice, like I had to call this one guy. He kept saying my dear, and I did [00:44:00] not work with him. 'cause I was like, it's enough. I've known you for an hour and you're calling me sab, my dear girl babe, all this. And I'm like, what

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: you start to do that, that performative, cutesy shit, you're actually trying to force the intimacy and you're trying to force and expedite that connection.

Sabrina Zohar: That's just not there. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: And I thought, truthfully, before Ace sent Jeremiah home, I was team ace. Now I'm like, oh, 

Empaths Anonymous: Oh 

Sabrina Zohar: and

Empaths Anonymous: yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: that. 

Empaths Anonymous: That's a jealous person. It's something that we really saw. Like what? Episode one, episode two. Like I kind of clocked it, kept it to myself, didn't like have enough, evidence, I guess. Mm-hmm. But I'm like, oh, he has a weird vendetta against Jeremiah because like really from episode one, he was kind of putting him on blast, right.

Empaths Anonymous: And always putting him in the hot seat. And I'm like, what is this about? Right? Always asking him questions and doing it in front of everybody, which was a really important thing. He didn't like pull him, 

Sabrina Zohar: privately. 

Empaths Anonymous: him for a chat or anything. Mm-hmm. It was like, oh, I'm gonna air out all his stuff right now in front of everyone.

Sabrina Zohar: And I'm torn with [00:45:00] Jeremiah because I do think what he did with Huda was love bonding. It was classic, it was, you know, coming. And also, not to mention, I saw fucking Taylor the other night when in Casa, uh, one of the girls said something and his response was, Uh.

Sabrina Zohar: like the last. Name. And he's like, you know, your last name would work really well with mine.

Sabrina Zohar: And I was like, I'm done with this.

Empaths Anonymous: Uh.

Sabrina Zohar: It's enough of this. Like, because what you're doing is you're setting a false sense of intimacy with this person and you're setting a reality that's not easy to meet. 'cause also, let's call it what it is, how often are you stuck in one place? No cell phones.

Sabrina Zohar: No outside world. No calling your friends, no texting your mama, no going out to lunch with your fr your boo, none of that. You are stuck in the house. You're watching them talk to other people. 

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm 

Sabrina Zohar: all you have, you don't even know what time it is, 

Empaths Anonymous: mm-hmm. Right.

Sabrina Zohar: you're doing is focusing on how I feel, what I'm feeling, what's coming up for me, what are you making me feel? It's not realistic. And I think that's also why we're seeing these dynamics play out because like Jeremiah, to be fair, it's like you've known this girl for a day, what else are you gonna talk about besides being like, oh, we're meant for each other,

Empaths Anonymous: Right,

Sabrina Zohar: get in obsessed with the idea of love and then what [00:46:00] happens, who does real color start to show?

Sabrina Zohar: And I, people wanna defend her and I get that. And I don't think she's a bad person by any means, and I'm not

Empaths Anonymous: right, 

Sabrina Zohar: about her as a person.

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: Her behavior is atrocious and the way that she shows up is inappropriate and a borderline emotionally abusive. Not to 

Empaths Anonymous: Hmm

Sabrina Zohar: did we see that when she was out with tj?

Sabrina Zohar: She didn't ask him one motherfucking question. Not one.

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm. 

Sabrina Zohar: Not 

Empaths Anonymous: Nope. 

Sabrina Zohar: not about them, it's about her and how it makes her feel. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yes. Yeah. Always. The last conversation that she ended up having with him, where he was like, oh, it's like platonic. And she's like, well, like why? I know. And I'm like, Huda, I wanna love you so hard. And she, it's, it's bad. Yeah. I can't.

Sabrina Zohar: though too, like your girl is Hannah, but you then flirted with Pepe behind her back and then you voted her off and people were like, well, if she was one of four votes, it's like she didn't go to bed for her. 

Empaths Anonymous: Right, right. And they didn't show the deliberation, so that'll be interesting to see.

Sabrina Zohar: Honestly, [00:47:00] I was thinking the same. I was like, they didn't show the deliberations in multiple

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: Ace voted to keep Huda on the island, I was like, why do I have a feeling that wasn't real? I'm sorry. I don't think that was real. 

Empaths Anonymous: Right. 

Sabrina Zohar: I think that there's a lot of faking and I think

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: are playing with us. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. I feel like Ace is like a producer plant or something. Like there's just, the way he's been moving has been so inconsistent and weird that I'm like, there's no way that this is, that he's being real right now. Yeah. Some people in, 

Sabrina Zohar: bluntness.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: thing I do like, like I, I appreciate that he went to Jeremiah and had said like, Hey, you're love bombing her. Like, that's not cool. I don't, I appreciate that part of him, but now that we've been seeing more and more, we're like, oh, I don't know what's happening here.

Sabrina Zohar: Ace. I don't like it. Yeah. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. We're trying to adopt this mentality that not everyone is all bad or all good, and we are very aware that we're watching a television show and we get that a lot of things are manufactured in certain ways, but like who's behavior? Can't be manufactured. Like that's real ace's [00:48:00] jealousy is real the way a lot of people are, are moving.

Empaths Anonymous: Like the producers can't make everyone

Sabrina Zohar: no, 

Empaths Anonymous: act that way, you know? Right. Like there's certain things that they can do. Right. The only thing I'll say about Ace choosing Hooda is I guess there's just this rhetoric on TikTok mostly that says that they were saying, because Ace knew that Chelley was gonna stand behind ura.

Empaths Anonymous: He just went with his woman.

Sabrina Zohar: Which I get, but then it goes back to him of being like, get a fucking backbone. Right. Get a

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: be like, listen, I'm sorry. I can't, I, I, that's a no for

Empaths Anonymous: right.

Sabrina Zohar: here. That's okay. We're allowed to have a disagreement, which kind of brings me back to everything is that we're in such a.

Sabrina Zohar: Fucking culture now where God forbid you disagree. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: forbid I had someone in my life the other day. I said something and she goes, I disagree. I'm gonna have to remove myself. And I was like, you're that much of a snowflake that because I said I don't

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: and it was about love is blind. I'm like, so, because I don't agree with you about a character on a fucking show,

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: I'm dead to you. You're done this. Like cancel people that don't [00:49:00] fucking do what we want. It's

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: disagree with people. It's okay to say like we're allowed to say, I'm allowed to say I like Ace or I don't like him. And that you do and you don't like, it's okay. That doesn't make anybody a bad person. And I think that that show really exemplified that because there's a lot of people how many times I'm like, why isn't anybody telling who to, Hey, that was fucked up. Like, how dare You speak to him That way no one's stepping

Empaths Anonymous: Alright.

Sabrina Zohar: everyone's, I don't wanna ruffle it. I, it's okay. Let's just be cool. 

Empaths Anonymous: are like scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I, one thing I will say is like the, the episode 13 where she's like, going off in front of the whole villa was kind of the turning point for me to be like, whoa, we need to take a step, a whole step back. But it really, I was trying to like. Give Huda some grace.

Empaths Anonymous: But that was kind of like the last straw. And then I really did see things like kind of the dynamic flip when like Jeremiah came to her and was like, you know, I had to like take a moment to like reflect and I just feel like we didn't like build a friendship first and I wanna do that. And she was just so turned off by that.

Empaths Anonymous: I was like, whoa, this is really, really interesting. [00:50:00] Seeing how their roles kind of like reversed. It was a very interesting, toxic dynamic. So while I feel like. Jeremiah kind of got wrongfully, or like unfairly, I guess I should say, voted off. I'm really glad that that's just not on the screen anymore 'cause it was starting to make me feel some type of way.

Empaths Anonymous: I was like, Ooh, this is a little bit triggering even for me to watch. Yeah. 

Sabrina Zohar: It was uncomfortable. And especially like, and

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: I think there's a double-edged sword. I get a saying, Hey, he's doing the same behavior I did. I I saw that, I saw the same thing where I was like, because look, Adriana's with another guy now and all of a sudden she's, you know, kissing him and making out, and you're like, okay, so you guys are all kind of love bombing each other.

Sabrina Zohar: Everybody's just

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: in. But what I didn't appreciate was, I was like, but Jeremiah didn't do that with Iris. They acknowledged, they were like, I don't feel it. And he

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: cool. So that's where I thought he did get the short end of the stick. I think if he hadn't had Iris, I think if he had gone from Huda and just immediately went for the other bombshell and was going at a hundred, I could understand the, like, get rid of him.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: I thought, I, I was with you. 'cause I, to me, at the very least, [00:51:00] Jeremiah kind of felt like he was trying to meet somebody, whereas Huda. to me, that's just fucking ego for me. I, I don't think she's doing it for the money. I don't think it's

Empaths Anonymous: Right.

Sabrina Zohar: it's the fact that she wants to, she just wants someone to pick her and she doesn't, because like you said, when TJ said no and her, when she said, why not?

Sabrina Zohar: I was like, coming outta my skin. I'm like, you can see he's uncomfortable.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: she's like, I just wanna see what he's, what's in this man's head. And it's like the dude is sitting there like this with you. He's not touching you.

Empaths Anonymous: Right,

Sabrina Zohar: interest. You haven't asked one question about him.

Sabrina Zohar: You haven't. Stop to ask anything about because it's not about them, it's about her validation and how she feels. 

Empaths Anonymous: right.

Sabrina Zohar: that's my issue with her is that I don't think she's authentic with any of these people. 

Empaths Anonymous: Right? Mm-hmm. She doesn't want a relationship. She wants obsession. She wants someone to be obsessed with Huda, and she doesn't really care about the person on the other end. Right?

Sabrina Zohar: Like what toxic is okay. And I was 

Empaths Anonymous: Right. It's just like the rush. Mm-hmm. It's because for things to not be toxic, a healthy is like boring. Yeah. Especially when you're used to that. When that's familiar. [00:52:00] Yeah. Right. 

Sabrina Zohar: Look at what's last season, uh, the blonde and 

Sabrina Zohar: ca 

Empaths Anonymous: Erin and Kayla. Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: that was it. I was like, why can't I remember? You know? 'cause they're having the new show coming out of all of them

Empaths Anonymous: Right. Yeah.

Sabrina Zohar: see, I'm like, y'all are still fucking, of course you are because you guys are the epitome of, of that dynamic of you are both codependent on each other because you both need each other to continue the dynamic. 

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah, exactly. Yes. Well, hopefully things will take a turn. I don't know. I kind of have like lost a little hope for this season. But when this episode comes out, I think we'll be either like at the finale or close to the finale. So. We will see. We'll hop in.

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. You guys can follow Sabrina's content on TikTok. And you, do you talk about it on Instagram too? Yes. Yeah. She's always breaking down love island, like from like a mental health and dating aspect, which is really, really cool. But yeah, thank you so much for being on the podcast today where I kind of said it already, but where are the places where people can like, find you, uh, get in touch with your content and learn more?

Sabrina Zohar: Awesome. Thank you guys. I'm really glad I got to do [00:53:00] this with you guys. Uh, sabrina zohar.com, the Sabrina Zohar show on TikTok YouTube and Instagram, all this stuff, right? If you type in my name, you'll find me

Empaths Anonymous: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: and it's just, yeah, if you want, the YouTube is something that's really special.

Sabrina Zohar: We're doing like 10 minute videos and just different shorts and the courses and all that

Empaths Anonymous: Mm-hmm.

Sabrina Zohar: come on in and we'd love to have some new, new friends that come and join us in the community. 

Empaths Anonymous: Of course. Absolutely. We have been on our dating journeys her a little bit longer. I exited like a long-term relationship and now I'm like trying to navigate this co-parenting thing while dating, so it's like a completely weird and interesting dynamic. So to be a part of a community where I'm sure there's more people like the both of us would be right.

Empaths Anonymous: So exciting. Yeah. And your, your podcast has just been so supportive. Mm-hmm. I had so many aha moments listening, so thank you so much for doing what you're doing and showing up and helping us in this time. That's all a little bit confusing and a struggle to navigate sometimes. 

Sabrina Zohar: Thanks girls. I appreciate it. 

Empaths Anonymous: We appreciate you. Thank you so much, [00:54:00] and to our listeners, we will talk to you next week.

Empaths Anonymous: Bye bye. 

Sabrina Zohar: Bye.